It’s no secret that being a mother is not easy. The demands are exhausting and it’s easy to become burnt out. I felt the burnout on an extreme level when I was working full-time. I could almost physically feel myself being crushed by the weight of everything I needed to do and everything that was expected of me. When I became a stay-at-home mom, I made a vow to myself: I would do whatever it takes to be the happiest, best version of myself and to enjoy this precious time I get with my kids. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy because I don’t have childcare options and my husband works a bajillion hours a week, but I was determined to find a way, and eventually, I did! These are the 10 things I do that keep my cup full and allow me to thrive:
- I put the kids to bed early so that I have sacred time to myself each night (when it’s appropriate).
I made this the first thing because I think it’s the #1 reason why I have my sanity! The kids are asleep by 8 most nights so that means I get 3 whole hours by myself! During this time I’ll take baths, watch a few episodes of a series, make hot tea and a yummy snack that’s just for me, work on little projects, and do whatever else I want to do. The house is dark and quiet and it’s so incredibly relaxing. I also feel great knowing that my kids are getting a good night’s rest!
* If my kids took a late nap then I let them stay up a bit later. I don’t make them roll around in bed for hours so I can have alone time. I try to make sure they’re tired!
- I take luxurious baths a couple of times a week.
After a long day, this is exactly the thing that will calm me down! I take different ones depending on my needs that day but it will always include some combination of bath salts, Himalayan salts, baking soda, and apple cider vinegar.
- I do chores while the kids are awake.
I used to spend my evenings cleaning all night. It’s just easier, I thought, to not try when they’re awake. I can do it faster and better so I’ll just wait until they’re asleep. If this was the case then why was I spending so much time each evening cleaning? I made a decision to only do chores while they are awake, and even invite them to help. I try to have the whole house clean before we do books at bedtime. This has been a game-changer and I feel like it’s truly allowed me to reclaim my evenings!
- I run errands with the kids.
This one does have some exceptions, but for the most part, I take the little guys with me when I need to run an errand. It’s not usually fun nor is it easy, but it saves me from spending my personal time having to go to the store. It has also stopped us from going on frivolous errands and it encourages me to order things when I can.
- I get outside as much as possible.
It’s a proven fact that everyone is calmer when they’re outside. This has been proven by many very scientific studies conducted by me. Meals are calmer, everyone gets along, and the sun simply melts away all worries. If I’m feeling stressed, chances are I need to get outside. Stepping out in the sun, even for a minute, is such a great reset. The sun has become one of my best tools for staying calm as a parent!
- I listen to podcasts and read books during the day.
If the kids are busy playing and nothing urgently needs to be done, I’ll read my book or listen to a podcast with an Airpod. This is a nice mental break and even 5 minutes feels like I got to relax and do something for myself for a bit!
- I prioritize my health.
This one has definitely been a work in progress. I used to be really bad about feeding myself and drinking water. When I finally would eat, I’d be so hungry I’d go for anything quick and easy. My health wasn’t great and I eventually learned that I have a gluten sensitivity. This led me on a health and wellness journey and I now make the health of EVERYONE in my family a priority, including myself.
- I make space for passion projects.
I firmly believe everybody needs a passion project! Something that stimulates their mind, makes them excited and challenges them. I’ve had many passion projects but my most recent is this blog right here. I’ve always enjoyed writing but this is my first time really diving into it. It makes me feel like a creative person instead of *just* a mom. It gives me a sense of purpose.
- I let myself sleep in.
For years, I’ve been hearing from moms saying how waking up early is super beneficial. I’ve tried it, and it was nice, but my kids are early risers. Unless I wake up at 5 am, waking up before my kids does not result in much. By the time I sit to make my coffee, my kids are awake. It makes much more sense for me, personally, to get that extra sleep in the morning and allow myself to stay up a little later. My kids are my alarm clock and it works well for us that way.
- I avoid the news.
It’s true what they say: ignorance is bliss. I spent years obsessing over the news: reeling over every shooting, staying “informed”, and being a diligent listener so that I could be an “informed voter”. It took me a while to realize how toxic this was. All of the negative energy was taking a toll on me. I spoke with a therapist who told me to cut out the news completely. He made me realize that worrying won’t change anything. It seemed appalling to be so ill-informed. Wasn’t it my civic duty to pay attention? Ultimately, I took his advice, and wow, the difference it has made. I go out of my way now to avoid the news and I am so much happier because of it. The news is awful and it’s polarizing. I have found one or two sources that are very neutral and don’t fear and I will listen occasionally.